


Things Left Unsaid

by bittereloquence



Category: Captain America (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Miscarriage, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-22
Updated: 2012-06-22
Packaged: 2017-11-08 06:59:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/440430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittereloquence/pseuds/bittereloquence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started out with Steve finding a new scar on Sharon's body. Suddenly the painful truth about her pregnancy and miscarriage have to come to light no matter how painful the telling of that particular story may be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things Left Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: There are heavy spoilers for the Death of Captain America in the comics and forward. To my knowledge, Steve hasn’t been told on panel about Sharon’s aborted pregnancy yet considering they are lovers, one would think he’d notice the scar on Sharon’s stomach. So this is just my attempt to quietly fill in a pothole. If it has taken place in the comics and I just didn’t see it, I apologize.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters within, nor am I making any money off of this story. All I own are the twisted ideas floating around in my head.

_Well has it been said that there is no grief like the grief which does not speak._

__**—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow**

Ever since Steve’s return from the dead, things had been … different between them somewhat. The guilt and horror of her actions had caused Sharon to keep him at arm’s length. Somehow, despite the atrocity she’d committed, Steve had still found it in his great big heart to forgive her and reassured the blonde that he did not blame her for what she had done under Dr. Faustus’s mind control.

Deep down, Sharon didn’t believe him; could not forgive herself for months on end. It had taken some very careful wooing and romancing on Steve’s part to convince the former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent to try and pick up where they had left off before he’d been arrested. But their lives being what they were, their dates inevitably got interrupted. Still, he loved Sharon and wanted to build a life for the two of them; and if that required a little extra effort on his part, so be it.

Finally, the stars seemed to align in the sky and they managed a low-key dinner and a movie at Steve’s apartment. Of course, what started out as a simple cuddle slowly turned into something more. Eventually, the movie was forgotten in favor of making out like a couple of horny teenagers. But he wasn’t complaining.

“Should we, uh—,” Steve managed between heated kisses, “—take this into the bedroom?”

Ever the gentleman, he wanted Sharon to be comfortable and rutting on a couch was both challenging and at times uncomfortable when you were as muscled and large as the super soldier was.

In the light of the television’s glow, Sharon’s blue eyes gleamed with satisfaction an as she nodded with a smile.

“Yes, lets,” she all but purred before leaning in to close the distance between them.

At some point in their cuddling, Sharon had crawled into, Sharon had crawled into Steve’s lap and was straddling his legs. Feeling the hardness of Steve’s erection against her most private of places had a shudder running through the blonde woman.

Not needing to be told twice, Steve moved to support Sharon’s body and stood up smoothly from the couch mid-kiss. That earned him a throaty chuckle from the willowy woman as long legs wrapped around his waist. The walk across his apartment was awkward and took too damned long. Steve was so wrapped up in kissing Sharon that he very nearly missed the doorway of his room and only managed to correct himself in time to avoid banging her shoulder into the doorjamb.

This just seemed to amuse Sharon to no end and she pulled away far enough to grin at him.

“Having a little difficulty here, Steve?” she asked with a teasing light in her eyes.

“Shush, trying to concentrate here,” he mock grumbled and bit her lower lip lightly in retribution.

Reaching the bed, Steve sat down and waited for Sharon to readjust her legs before puller her back to lie on top of him. That didn’t last long however. The blond woman sat up so she could start on the buttons of the super soldier’s shirt. He lay there passively beneath her as she once more straddled his thighs and perched on his lap.

He was blown away once more by the proud beauty of the gorgeous woman. With her long blonde hair mussed and cascading over her shoulders and that heated look of passion in her eyes, Steve just wanted to spend the whole night worshiping her body and making love to her. His wide-palmed hands came to rest against her waist and not so accidentally rucked up her shirt so he could touch skin.

After she finished unbuttoning his shirt, Sharon smoothed her hands down Steve’s chest and pushed the cotton fabric out of the way. She delighted in the crisp blond hair sprinkled across Steve’s chest and followed the gold kissed trail down to his belt buckle. The super soldier dragged in a ragged breath of air and the muscles of his stomach flexed in reaction to her soft petting.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” he grumbled when she went to work on his belt buckle. His hands slid to the small of Sharon’s back as he sat up to shrug off his shirt. This brought him within kissing distance of the blonde woman and he indulged himself for a moment he indulged himself for a moment, kissing her passionately. Finally pulling away, he moved to help tug Sharon’s shirt up over her head. He tossed it behind her somewhere on the floor and took moment to drink in the sight of her.

Sharon was such a no nonsense type of woman, that Steve didn’t expect her to indulge in frivolous things like lacy under things. But the bra she was wearing was both demure and racy with its white satin and lace. Something about the construction seemed to plump up her breasts in a mysterious feminine way. Lace scalloped along the edge of the cup and a blood red bow was strategically placed in the front to draw the eye. Dumbfounded by simple male appreciation, he just watched her for a long moment before a goofy smile tugged at his lips.

Judging by the satisfied look on Steve’s face, she knew she’d chosen the correct ensemble for tonight. She’d already made up her mind before she’d even come to Steve’s apartment that she would allow Steve to seduce her back into his bed. Just like she’d known he would respond more favorably to something demure and a little sexy rather than some over the top modern brassiere and panties. Besides, white complimented her skin favorably and what woman didn’t want to be seen as both beautiful and sexy in the bedroom?

“Are you just going to sit there and stare all night, Steve?” Combing an affectionate hand through his short hair, she kissed him softly.

“Maybe I just want to take it all in, hmmn? Not every day I have a beautiful woman in my bed,” he teased right back.

His hands trailed up Sharon’s sides to cup her tenderly. The touch of his hands against her breasts had Sharon arching in pleasure. A breathy sigh escaped her as Steve stroked his thumbs over her nipples, causing them to tighten and grow more sensitive beneath the faint rasp of lace across her skin.

“Jesus, you’re such a tease, Rogers.” She groaned; head falling back as Steve suckled her through the soft lace cupping her breast.

Steve ignored her and mouthed the tight bud of her nipple through the now moistened lace. He bit down ever so slightly and the blonde woman almost came apart in his arms. Desperate for more contact, she moved to fumble with the clasp of the brassiere in at the back but Steve nudged her hands out of the way so he could do the honors.

“Let me,” he mumbled, trailing a line of kisses along the scalloped edge of the bra’s cup. His fingers were quite dexterous despite the blunt-fingered strength of them and he easily undid the clasps holding the bra closed. As the bra went slack, he caught first one strap and then the other and gently guided them down her arms.

Once he’d gotten the lacy and satin material off, he negligently tossed it behind her as well and turned his attention back to worshipping her breasts, much to Sharon’s vocal approval. Unimpeded by the bra now, he nuzzled and suckled at the tight peak of her right nipple this time.

She fumbled with his belt, finally undoing it and pulled it free with unsteady fingers. Drawing the zipper down, she managed to slip her hand inside and curled her fingers over his length through his boxers. That dragged a husky groan from the man which had Sharon smiling in pleasure. “Like that do you?”

He pulled away long enough to give the blonde a heated look. “Now who’s teasing whom?” The super soldier stood up once more and carried her with him so he could twist and settle Sharon onto the bed. Her long hair pooled around her shoulders as she situated herself among the sheets.

“Pants off, now,” she grumbled up at him and moved to the fastening of her own pants.

“Yes, ma’am,” Steve grinned, the expression oddly boyish on his handsome face and moved to shimmy out of his slacks and then his boxers. In the dim light of the streetlamps shining through the blinds of Steve’s bedroom, Sharon’s eyes gleamed with pure female satisfaction.

The blond man was gorgeous and incredibly fit thanks to the super soldier serum.

“You going to stare all night, Sharon?” Steve teased, echoing back her words from earlier.

“Maybe I just want to take it all in,” she teased right back before patting the bed beside her. “Come join me?” the blonde woman entreated softly.

Unable to resist such an invitation, he settled onto the bed beside Sharon and leaned in to kiss her passionately. His hands with their calloused and work-roughened fingers glided down Sharon’s body. He counted out each rib with his fingertips before gliding along the smooth planes of her stomach. It was only by accident that he encountered the jagged scar raggedly bisecting her belly.

That startled him because Steve knew each and every scar and mark on her body. They both had intimate knowledge of each other’s bodies.

What startled him more was the way Sharon went as stiff as a board and shoved his hand away. Understandably confused, he pulled away from the kiss to give Sharon a questioning look. “What’s wrong?”

The look of agony on Sharon’s face had dread curling in the pit of Steve’s stomach. All thoughts of pleasure were replaced with concern. “Sharon?” Shifting, he reached over to turn on the lamp next to the bed.

Sharon just tried to twist away from him in a mad scramble to get away. Sensing that something was deeply wrong, Steve lunged after her before she could get to the edge of the bed. “Wait, Sharon! What’s going on, talk to me?”

“I can’t, oh _God_.” Tears burned in the blonde woman’s eyes, threatening to spill over as a sob pulled its way free of her throat. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

She was such a strong woman, one who’d always had such good control of her emotions. So the fact that this amazing, capable woman was nearly to the edge of tears told Steve something truly horrible had happened.

“Sharon, what’s wrong? Talk to me. Please?” Driven by the need to comfort her, he pulled her close and wrapped his arms around the shaken woman. Finding her avenue of escape cut off by the super soldier’s arms, Sharon just seemed to deflate. Hot tears splashed against Steve’s shoulder as she buried her face into the crook of his neck and cried.

Her shoulders shuddered with silent sobs as over a year of pain and grief burst free all at once. She’d thought that she’d been able to get a handle on this, that she’d been able to lock it away in a box at the back of her heart. But apparently not.

Uncertain of what to do, Steve just drew her close and smoothed a hand up and down her back soothingly. “I’ve got you, I’m right here, Sharon.”

Eventually, she slowly seemed to quiet. A stray tear or two fell on her cheek as Sharon realize she **had** to tell Steve. That she couldn’t put it off any longer. Not now that he’d just witnessed her breaking down like she had. The blonde woman hadn’t meant to, it had just been the touch of his fingers across her stomach had set something off in her. A flashback to the agonizing pain she’d felt while she and Sin had fought over the knife.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Steve asked softly, a terrible sort of empathy in his eyes. He’d been through his share of flashbacks over the years and understood what she’d experience. “Is it the scar? What happened, Sharon?” Tenderly, he brushed a few tangled strands of blonde hair back from her face.

“I—“ Sharon broke off before she’d managed to get more than a word out. Finding she was incapable of looking at him, she dropped her gaze to her fingers where they curled over Steve’s bicep. “You know about how the Red Skull and Faustus kidnapped me after…I killed you” She forced the words out.

“Hey, that wasn’t you, Sharon. It wasn’t your fault, you know that,” Steve tried to protest, moving to cup her face softly.

Unable to accept the comfort he offered, she pulled away and forced herself to continue on.

“Afterwards, I found out I was pregnant. The Red Skull was keeping me around because he wanted to use _our_ baby for his sick purposes. He was going to experiment on it and learn whether the super soldier serum was carried through the baby’s DNA.”

All the blood drained from Steve’s face but Sharon missed the stricken look on her lover’s face. “I was in medical and I got the drop on Sin. My plan was to use her as hostage and almost made it to the exit when she attacked me. The drugs they had me on, it made me too sluggish and as we were struggling over the knife she stabbed me in the stomach.” The words came out with a sob.

Steve’s arms tightened around Sharon and pulled her closer. “God….I had no idea.”

“I did it on purpose, Steve. I couldn’t bear to let him get his hands on our baby. I’m so sorry.”

His heart breaking, Steve buried his face into Sharon’s hair and held on tight. Being a devout Christian, the idea of abortion had never settled easily on his shoulders. But it was so easy to point fingers and judge when you’d never been in that kind of situation. It wasn’t so clear cut and black and white when Sharon had had to choose between letting a monster like Schmidt get his hands on their child. While he’d been briefed on what had happened to Sharon and that the Red Skull had maintained possession of her for weeks after death but this…he wasn’t prepared for this.

“You had no choice, Sharon. Shhh it wasn’t your fault. It was that monster’s fault. Him and his twisted daughter.”

“I made the choice, Steve. Oh, God help me, I was the one who did it.” The problem was, Sharon was all too aware of Steve’s thoughts on abortion and so the knowledge that she’d chosen to let Sin stab her and abort the fetus rather than letting it fall into the Red Skull’s hands had been eating at her like a cancer.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I just couldn’t.”

Steve’s hands cupped her face and pulled the miserable blonde’s gaze up so she’d have to look at him. “Listen to me, Sharon, I don’t blame you, alright? You were in an impossible situation and the thought of Schmidt getting his hands on our child.” Steve’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I couldn’t have lived with it either. Not after seeing what horrific things he did to his own daughter. You made the only choice you could in an untenable situation.”

Another tear tracked its way down Sharon’s cheek and he gently wiped it away. “I’m so sorry you had to face that on your own.” Leaning back, he pulled her with him so they were laying on the bed. They shifted until Sharon was curled up beside Steve and resting her cheek on his shoulder. “Let’s get some rest, alright? Tomorrow, things will be better, I promise.”

Leaning in, he kissed the now drained woman tenderly. “I love you so much. Don’t forget that.”

Sharon wanted to protest, to say she didn’t deserve him but kept that to herself since it just wasn’t the time or place for her own neurosis.

“I love you too. And…thank you, Steve,” she whispered, snuggling up against him further.

The super soldier reached over to turn off the lamp and drew what covers he could reach over them. He lay there for a long time just staring up at the ceiling before he finally shifted until he was spooning her from behind.

The blonde had dropped off to sleep a while ago and didn’t even stir when he shifted positions. Without conscious thought, Steve’s hand drifted downwards and pressed over Sharon’s belly where he could feel the jagged edges of the scar. Once he was convinced she was truly asleep, he finally allowed himself to mourn as well. The super soldier bowed his head over his lover’s and silently contemplated what they had lost. Whether it would have been a boy or a girl.

Steve had always wanted to be a father, had wanted a family of his own one day. But the lifestyle they led had always been contradictory to Steve’s own wants and needs. Instead, he’d quietly put those dreams away on a shelf. So to have come so close to that only to have it snatched out his hands again. To know he would never see Sharon grow lush and swollen with their child and get the ephemeral glow expectant mothers got….that he’d never get to hold his child in his hands.

He closed his eyes to stave off the tears that threatened to prickle his eyes and just pulled Sharon closer. Tomorrow would come soon enough and he had to be strong for her then. But for now, he just allowed himself to quietly mourn for what was lost.


End file.
